You’ve gained weight. Her body is way better than yours. Skinny bitch. I prefer how you looked then. You think you’re so hot. Carpenters dream. Flat as a board. You just have the wrong body. You wont fit the costume. You’re too thick. You’re too short. You sweat too much. You’re too muscular. Don’t get too big. Don’t get too skinny. Why do you still have cellulite? Should you be eating that? Why do you want to look manly? She’s walking like a gorilla. Look at that. What is that? Your legs aren’t lean enough. You need lipo. This is probably not part of your diet. She’s just prettier than you. If you were only 2 inches taller. You don’t look pregnant, you just look fat. You look malnourished. That look is not cute.....these are just some of the phrases I have heard throughout my life...from people I know, from people I considered friends and strangers from on the street...skinny shaming, fat shaming, fit shaming...it’s all bullying, and it’s all wrong. Words truly matter. They have the ability to hurt and to heal...to harm and to help...to break down and to lift up...words have power.
It takes strength of character and love of self to be able to brush them off, or to let them be fuel to that fire within to better ones self...not for another person’s benefit, but for your own. Ok. Ok. It might be nice to prove otherwise to the naysayers, to prove them wrong, to make them eat their words ... but the reality is, the ugly words people speak are generally a reflection of the ugliness within themselves. Those who bully and are unkind, thrive off of the feeling of knocking someone else down because somehow it lifts them up. Isn’t that sad? Feel bad for that person, instead of allowing their words to have power over you...and conversely...taste your own words before you spit them out...know that you have control of your own words, thoughts and actions...and most importantly, you control your own reactions.
This reflection on just some of the words/phrases that I’ve carried through my life is important because I no longer stare at that wall of negativity as if it were truth. While I am still guilty of being my own worst critic, I’ve chipped away at that wall of words from others...and have learned not to let them bring me down. I do this with satisfaction and strength. I hope the same for all of you...
In this world of keyboard commandos and social media ninjas that hide behind their screens, be the bigger person...spread kindness, positivity and good vibes...it doesn’t cost a damn thing.